10. Idiots do tend to think you respect them when you call them “Sir,”

9. I’m not actually a Luddite. Technologically impaired, but not a Luddite.

8. My mom has very conservative opinions on men’s neckwear (Sir, she’s asked me if you’re color-blind.)

7. Even learning more about baseball doesn’t make me giggle any less when I hear or read “switch-hitter.” Sorry.

6. The first Google is often not the one you’re looking for.

5. There needs to be a database of partial song lyrics.

4.Some of the weirdest things about me have very little to do with my disability. Not to fear, there are fandoms for most of them.

3. You are never too old for a crazy, obsessive crush on a brainy celebrity you’ve never met.

2. I think there could be a drinking game for Countdown, especially every time Keith mentions prep school or Cornell. No, I never did it on recap nights.

1. If you write in a blog, SAVE YOUR DRAFTS. Always.

1a. If you get famous, shooting your mouth off to Playboy will haunt your fans, if not you, for years.

P.S. I am outraged, and my cat is innocent.

See you around the interwebs…we’ll always have “Countdown”,

Chicating

Tie:dark orange.

Segue: Joe Cocker “You Are So Beautiful”(He’s a “brother”, you know!)

Worst Persons:“Comedian” Rush Limbaugh Still say there should be some sort of lifetime designation for that dude…maybe for the show’s next milestone-a-versary. Think about it, Keith.

BreakingSenator Hillary Rodham Clinton is under consideration for Secretary of State. Keith has Chris Kofinis on to talk about the reasons such a disciplined campaign might start blabbing stuff like that, and confirms that some campaign insiders spoke to Andrea Mitchell.

5. The joke about vapid celebrities is pretty damn funny, but I’d skip it if I didn’t have to hear Sarah Palin ramblin’ on about things above her ken again. That’ll put marzipan in her pie plate, bingo.(Keith, ask Miss K. what this means…I’ll bet she’ll know.) And was that a leather dress? Tell me the hockey mom left the whip at home…oh, that’s okay, never tell me. (But I know one place in Scottsdale where she will probably never have to buy her own drinks.) I think Margaret Carlson gets the same kick out of Keith’s wit that we do, which is kind of charming.

4.The Senate makes a lot of news today as a. Obama resigns his seat, b. Democratic challenger Mark Begich pulls ahead in Alaska, and Chambliss V. Martin shapes up to be Ground Game 2:This Time It’s Not Personal for the Presidential candidates. How much do you think Chambliss wishes McCain said “thanks but no thanks,” to that invite? Maybe just a little.

Oddball Comedian Whoopi Goldberg was born on this date in 1955.

Also, anyone who knows me well knows my…somewhat unwholesome relationship to the Special Comments, but this is still funny, if less likely to cross my mind in the shower.

3. What should be done to bring some accountability to the bailout? Robert Reich confirms that the banks and lobbyists involved have done all the wrong things to get things moving again.Yay, so glad we passed everything so fast. At least Chris Dodd is pissed too, I suppose.

Worse: Steve Douchey, uh, Doocy.
Worser: Hannity and Pawlenty

1. I could watch a whole show that is just “Keith and Rachel Share What’s On Their Minds,” honestly, even though they wandered a bit, topic-wise, from the Biden-Cheney f2f. Not because I doubted that Keith knew what he was talking about…maybe it was journalism school(”If your mama says she loves you, check it out.”) but I googled Aaron Burr and that was just as crazy as KO described.
Mom and I are fine, too, by the way, although Mr. Rocky Perfect is ticked off at me for not taking things on faith. Is there anything more annoying than a cat with a sanctimonious streak?
Have a wonderful Friday, ERT-ers!

Tie: Purple
Music: The Andrews Sisters - “Too Fat Polka”
Worst Person: Mark Foley, who apologized today for his page scandal.

Breaking Alaskan electoral news: Democrat Mark Begich — the candidate not currently a convicted felon, is now up three votes over incumbent Ted Stevens. Three votes! One, two, three votes! Ah, ah, ahhhhh. There may be as many as 47K votes yet to be counted. Man, Alaska is weird.

The Minnesota re-count looms. Norm Coleman is not happy, so his campaign has unleashed the smears (including ACORN! Welcome back, ACORN!) and dozens of their own lawyers to the recount sites.

The runoff election in Georgia will now feature John McCain stumping for Saxby Chambliss, a man whose campaign a few years back reprehensibly smeared competitor Max Cleland — much to then-John-McCain’s shock. Now-John-McCain’s all too happy to help out!

The Obama transition office released information on transition teams for Departments State, Defense, and Treasury, full of people I don’t know but who are probably smart, all now on board to help Barack Obama transition into his role of President. Exciting!

Former secretary of state Madeleine Albright and former Republican congressman Jim Leach will attend the G20 summit as a sort of shadow delegation from the Obama administration, since, as with Highlanders, there can be only one President of the United States at a time, aaaaaaand ours is still W.

As Barack and Michelle met with George and Laura on Monday, so tomorrow will Joe and Jill meet with Dick and Lynne. Our thoughts are prayers are with Vice President Elect Biden as he girds himself (and “his lovely bride”) for this no doubt terrifying journey to center of the Labyrinth to meet the Minotaur himself. Also they will probably have lunch.

Keith tops my Greek mythology joke with an Edgar Allan Poe joke, which is just further proof that I shouldn’t pause the episode to be snarky, as snark will typically be provided for me if I’m just patient. Curse you, Olbermann. Furthermore post-transition? I think I’ll miss Keith’s Cheney/Diesel impression most of all.

A little-noted Clinton-era law may allow President Obama to undo many regulations set in place by the Bush Administration. Many signing statements may be up for nullification, as well.

Ahhhahahahah. APPARENTLY, Keith opened the show by saying “Good evening, this is Tuesday, November eleventh…” NICE. This is why using the format of the script from the night before and just swapping out for relevant information is risky business, people. For the record … today = Wednesday. November the twelfth. No, I’m sure.

Oddball: OH GOD BIGFOOT THE SLUG ** And a little-known but super heated collegiate rivalry has come to light. That’s right, I’m talking about U of Georgia girl vs. Bathroom Stall. GO STALL GO. ** Jeffrey Tambor & David Cross confirm: the Arrested Development movie is a go!!! Get your hopes up, everyone!!

It is quite some time until the next presidential election, but the Republican Governors Association is meeting in Florida this week. Attendees include Bobby Jindal, Charlie Crist, Tim Pawlenty, and Sarah Palin. So, basically — the leading candidates for the oncoming mud-wrassling match to fix the GOP. Margaret Carlson says that most of the guvs in attendance are more interested in talking about the ‘10 election, since any mention of ‘12 is pretty much just code for talking about Palin, and they’re not interested.

John McCain was on Leno last night, and said he was pretty much done running for president, thanks. It was a decent interview. Seeing John McCain now as the John McCain I recognize is kind of bittersweet.

A Sarah Palin exclusive: The Sarah Palin exclusives. So many exclusives, the word has lost all meaning, and I do not think it means what she thinks it means.

That was Countdown, and that does it for me. Good night.