Tie: Brown stripes
Music: Ritchie Valens - “Ooh My Head”
Worst Person: News Corp’s stock - like a ton of other stocks right now - is doing poorly. Thus, Bill-O is WPitW by some … petty schadenfreudy logic.

Obama’s going to contact his choice for VP tomorrow afternoon with the decision. Maybe.

McCain has narrowed Obama’s lead in the polls. Oh, I hope these conventions go well. For … selfishly liberal definitions of the word “well,” mind you.

Ohio Representative Stephanie Tubbs Jones died today after suffering an aneurysm while driving. The ten-year-representative was the first black woman to represent Ohio in Congress, and I knew her best from her appearances on The Colbert Report, where she was fantastic. She was fifty eight.

Lieberman’s speaking at the RNC, as it Rudy Giuliani. So hey - will McCain pick Lieberman as VP? That seems insane. Just insane enough to work? No, no. Just insane.

Oddball: ROGUE MONKEY. I have been waiting my entire life to type those words ** Aaaaaand bikini baristas fight back! No, it’s not the new Robert Rodriguez/Quentin Tarantino pulp flick, it’s the actual news.

Yeah, so an audience member at a McCain event suggested that if we’re serious about tracking Osama Bin Laden to the gates of hell, we’d better reinstate the draft. McCain is on board. I realize that if we have a McCain presidency, any children I may have in my life will probably still have a number of ongoing wars to choose from (if it is choice at that point) by the time they’re of enlistment age.

Ok, this was runner up for Worst Person, but I’m putting it here anyway. I’m not actually clicking on the link to the Limbaugh piece (here’s the Google News page for “Limbaugh, Maddow”), because … I’m still really happy about the news and I don’t want to get too angry, but the blurb on the Google search gave me this, about Dan Abrams: He’s losing his show to somebody with more testosterone than he has…

Ohhhhhh, so much for not getting too angry. Just between you and me? As much as I waited impatiently for Rachel to get her own show, I always kind of dreaded it, because I know what’s out there about Keith (and I have some pretty impressive blinders), and I hated the thought of seeing that kind of crap pop up about her. And I know this is just the beginning.

Anyway, yeah. So I guess now basically, whether Rachel wants it or not, Keith is totally going to get all het up and fighty whenever someone messes with his friend? That’s kind of great/cute.

Lieberman’s inclusion on the ticket would enhance the “One Term McCain” perception of the Arizona senator’s intentions, thereby increasing his potential lame duckiness. Just another thing to complicate the VP decision (and oh gosh will I be glad to not hear the term “veepstakes” for a few years). Meanwhile, Senator Joe Biden had a successful dump today. Good for him!

Tuesday’s Tie: Pink

Worst Person in the World - Harvey Kushner for not having heard of Godwin’s Law.

#5 - Will it be Joe Biden for Dem VP? Yes! No! Maybe! Or as Chuck Todd points out, nobody really knows, but Biden is a good possibility. The top VP choice may not find out anyway until he gets a text message from the campaign. Also, Todd tweaks KO about FNIA. We have come quite a ways since the early days when Todd kept calling Keith “sir”.

Richard Wolffe also stops by to talk VP choices and how negative campaigning on McCain’s side is slowly eroding the nation’s positive opinion of Obama. Shouldn’t that work the other way around?

#4 - McCain contradicts himself. That’s news? Eugene Robinson attempts to unfuddle us. It seems the new McCain is quite different than the old McCain, but no one (the press?) seems to have noticed yet.

Bushed - Global Warning denialists get a lesson in global warming from Mother Nature, the President wasn’t involved except when he was, and McCain and Bush want to restart the Cold War, only without the commies.

Oddball - Turtles on wheels, roller blading backwards, and a boxing dog.

Best Persons in the World - Bill Sammon of Fox doesn’t care about mistakes, Rush Limbaugh gives normal people something to hope for, and Joe Leiberman is a “prick” according to the AP (and others!)

#3 - Called “the single smartest move ever made by a television network” by The Progressive Puppy, and seemingly seconded by at least 41,754 of you, Rachel Maddow will now have her own show on MSNBC starting on September 8th! It will be shown at 9:00 pm Eastern and 6:00 pm Pacific time.

Rachel joins Keith to talk about the show a bit, goof around some, and to make sure our Mr. Olbermann gets the credit for it (note: KO is a lot of good things, but modest isn’t one of them).

Rachel promises the show will follow along with her quirky interests (naked men committing crimes and the Iraqi soccer team) as well as politics and the wider world. And best yet, it will follow Countdown so you can save the batteries in your remote. Oh, and she will be remaining on Air America too.

#2 - Worst Persons in the World

Worse - Newt Gingrich for suggesting that keeping your tires fully inflated only rewards the oil companies. The oil companies must pay him really well to try to confuse people like that.

Worser - The East Coast Avengers for suggesting for suggesting that Bill O’Reilly be killed in one of their songs. Keith takes them to task for saying that. And I won’t link because that just help perpetuates that kind of thing.

#1 - The all purpose Princess of Countdown, Maria Milito, comes by to talk about the Bigfoot hoax. She says her radio listeners were upset to find out last week’s discovery of a Bigfoot corpse was not real. Hmmm…normally skeptical, classic rock listening New Yorkers believed that was really Bigfoot? I think maybe that is the hoax. Still, silly or not, it is always nice to see Milito.

Monday’s tie: Orange

Segue music: The Coasters - Wake Me, Shake Me.  (They couldn’t get clearance to any version of Satisfaction?)

Worst Person in the World: When he’s not writing books smearing Barack Obama,  Jerome Corsi can also be found accusing John McCain of being funded by the mob and being supported by al Qaeda (scroll down, because I am not linking to WND).  Dude, make up your mind!

5.  Speaking before the VFW convention today, John McCain accused Barack Obama of “shifting positions” on the war in Iraq and insinuated that Obama has taken a defeatist position.  He also hammered away at his opponent for his opposition to The Surge.    The Obama camp responded: Don’t be a dick, man.  Rachel Maddow says that McCain is fudging the time line he’s using to declare victory by equating “The Surge” with “The Whole Entire War.”   Also, McCain is being really sneaky by calling Obama’s patriotism into question in a backhanded way: he won’t call him unpatriotic, but he also keeps insisting that Obama wants us to lose the war.  (Incidentally, McCain is still in favor of winning, he just won’t define victory.)  Also, McCain still doesn’t seem to understand that the US can exert power in the world without using military force (See: Georgia/Russia conflict, McCain response to).

Since Keith didn’t see fit to provide any context, here’s what the whole Saddleback thing was about.  Over the weekend, both Obama and McCain spoke at a “Civil Forum on the Presidency” hosted by Pastor Rick Warren of the Saddleback Church.   Anyway, they spoke separately, (Obama first then McCain) and neither were supposed to know what the questions were beforehand.  Most people think McCain probably won (although it’s not too surprising since the membership of the Saddleback Church is somewhat representative of the evangelical base of the Republican Party).  Everything was great until Andrea Mitchell went on Meet The Press and appeared to indicate that McCain may not have been completely in the dark about what he was going to be asked.  And then the McCain camp got pissed off and wrote a letter to Steve Capus. Keith and Howard Fineman can’t believe the McCain camp is seriously serious about all this.  First of all, they were getting good reviews about the forum; secondly, McCain used to have a good relationship with the media; and third,  it’s not like Andrea straight up called McCain a cheater, she just implied that someone may have had the TV on or a staffer at the debate passed along some info on their Blackberry or , I don’t know, they used carrier pigeons to advance some info.  More of Keith’s thoughts later.

4.  OMGBREAKINGNEWSELEVENTY!!11!!!!!!  According to the New York Times, Obama may announce his running mate as soon as Wednesday (which might explain why I got yet another Facebook message today reminding me to sign up to be among the first elevety bajillion people to get an email or text when he announces).  Front runners include Evan Bayh, Tim Kaine and Joe Biden.  Politico is also reporting that McCain may make his announcement on August 29 (which is not only his birthday, it’s also the day after the Democratic convention wraps up).   Suspects include Mitt Romney, Tim Pawlenty, Joe Lieberman and Tom Ridge.  Chris Cillizza thinks Obama has made up his mind, but he probably hasn’t called the lucky guy yet and he might want to… um… get on that and stuff, considering the convention starts a week from today.  He and Keith also discuss the wisdom of announcing during the Olympics, but Chris ruminates that since all the “important sports stories” (like Michael Phelps and gymnastics) are basically done, maybe people aren’t paying so much attention any more.  And Keith points out that if they make the announcement sooner rather than later, the campaign will still have time to release a campaign ad that will get a lot of eyeballs.  Joe Biden’s recent trip to Georgia (as well as his reticence on the subject) might indicate that he’s got a good chance of getting the nod.  As for McCain, Chris thinks that since it looks like he’s announcing on his birthday, he’ll pick someone younger than him (not difficult, one would think) and he’ll also pick someone he actually likes (on a personal level), which might give an advantage to someone like Pawlenty or Ridge.

Oddball: With all the to-do over Michael Phelps, Keith begs you to spare a thought for Jim Thorpe (because Phelps probably can’t cha-cha).  And please be careful not to run into power lines with your plane or walls with your body.

Best Persons: Identity theft is not a joke,  silly sea turtles and doctors get Satisfaction from reviving coma patient.

3. Bushed: An Army hospital at Fort Sill is infested with mold,  the Pentagon is coming up with new ways to spy on you and the Justice Department is coming up with new ways to spy on you.

2.  Bill-o sends out his producer flunkies to stalk a reporter over this article  and Bill Kristol gets a do-over.

1.  Keith’s Special Comment, wherein he says it’s a little rich for McCain to accuse Obama of shifting positions on the war, declares that it’s a bit of a straw man argument for McCain to deride Obama’s ambition (because…. unambitious people should run for president?), reminds McCain that’s it’s not a good idea to be cocky around vets, especially when you’ve screwed around with their benefits, blasts McCain for continuing to make political hay out of the Russia/Georgia conflict and then says that the McCain campaign has no right to jump up NBC’s ass if they are going to continue to run ads on the networks of NBC Universal.  And finally, he tells McCain to pull his thumb out of his mouth, put on his big boy britches and SACK UP, HO.  Video and transcript at Crooks and Liars and the Countdown site.

Tie: Purple, with stripes
Music: “Your Cheatin’ Heart”
Worst Person: Ed Tinsley said something dumb at a debate, and was quickly - and loudly - booed by the crowd for it. That took care of itself nicely!

The President of Georgia has implored John McCain to do more than just say supportive things about the conflict. Maybe they’ve hit up McCain for action because the senator’s top foreign policy adviser is a lobbyist for Georgia. The US has sent humanitarian aid, the President - just back from his Olympics trip - postponed his Crawford vacation, and has sent Secretary Rice, and … that’s about it for now.

Now, onto the DNC. Or rather … the scheduling of the speakers at the convention. Keith teases it by getting out most of the sentence: “Obama is about to choose-” before the screen cuts to the break. Cute. Anyway, because this guy’s been announced as the keynote speaker, and this woman’s speaking earlier in the week, and because VP Announcement Day coincides with the convention’s day set aside for national security … all some signs point to this guy! Well. Maybe. Bayh’s still on the table, though not literally, because that would be weird.

Main thing standing in Joe Biden’s way? Joe Biden. Guy has a rep for being Captain Mis-speak, on occasion, spinning on that dizzy edge between “Hey, we’re just talkin’ here! It’s off-the-cuff time with Joey B!” and “Oh crap, that is not what I meant to say. Is that tape recorder on? It is. Huh.”

Bushed: Homeland Security’s new counter-spy tips n’ tricks seem kind of … Homeland Security 101 ** As previously mentioned, President Bush is heading to Texas for a little vacation following his vacation, bringing his grand total of vacation days during his time in office to just about two years. It’s good to be the king. ** Hiu Lui Ng came to New York in 1992, and lived as an American until he was arrested by immigration officials. He died in custody at the age of 34, of cancer, after months of having his pain, and his pleas for medical assistance, ignored.

Oddball: It’s Hitch’s birthday! If you’re a Netflix member, head on over and watch a bunch of old Alfred Hitchcock Presents episodes. Go ahead, the recap will still be here when you’re done. ** Minor League baseball organizations have been conducting informal polls to forecast who our next Commander in Chief will be! Fans went into a little booth and selected the bobblehead toy of their choice: McCain or Obama. Obama wins! Obama wins! Obama wins! ** DeWitt County, Texas has a bit of a cryptozoology problem. Or a weird … dog/coyote/tiny donkey problem. I’m going with OMG CHUPACABRA because it’s tons more fun to say.

Elizabeth Edwards’ brother has entered into the scandal to talk about how John told his family what he’d done. But more importantly, Rush Limbaugh is an absolute, total, incontestably excreable alleged human being. After hemming and hawing about how he couldn’t share his theory of how the affair happened on air, he did anyway. It’s summed up thusly: “It just seems to me that Edwards might be attracted to a woman whose mouth did something other than talk.” I have thoughts on this, and theories of my own … but they are truly. Truly. Not fit for air. If you missed it, check out what Keith said. It’s what I would have said, except my text would have caused more nuns to faint.

Finally, Joel McHale is there to put an end to the feud which kinda’ ceased being funny about two volleys ago. I’m all for Keith and McHale palling around, but give it a tiny break. Let it get funny again. Joel’s an actual comedian — I trust him on these things. I’m not sure Keith would have ever dropped this, given the chance. But whatever. I’m happy for any and all Joel + Keith we can get. Long live the truce.

Tuesday’s Tie: Navy (with the grey suit, just like the picture)

Segue Music: Do-do-do-do

Worst Persons: American Airlines for charging soldiers headed to Iraq extra for baggage.

5. Former Hillary Clinton campaign manager Mark Penn had sent a memo to Clinton suggesting she brand Obama as culturally un-American because he spent his childhood in Hawaii and Indonesia. To her credit, Clinton declined the suggestion. Howard Fineman joins Keith to remind both Penn and Senator McCain that Hawaii is actually, you know, America.

Meanwhile McCain is allowing his lapdog, Joe Leiberman, to spout of drivel such as Obama doesn’t put his country first. Keith reminds us that there is none so zealous as a convert. If only Leiberman really was a convert. At last check he was still calling himself a Democrat.

Chris Kofinis rounds off the segment with a discussion on Clinton’s lack of staff management and the infighting in her campaign, though he too gives her props for refusing Penn’s suggestion.

4. John McCain tries to restart the Cold War by branding the Russians as the sole instigators of the current Georgian-Russian mess. Rachel Maddow joins Keith to explain why “Christ and oil” are not good reasons to go down that path again.

Bushed - War profiteering pays really, really well. The Democrats may be finally waking up and smelling the coffee. And Dick Cheney has no standards (surprise!).

Oddball - Don’t answer questions from cops who say they are from the Division of Underage Pornography. Or something like that. And a Burger King employee who gives us one other reason not to eat fast food.

Best Persons in the World - An Italian medal winner looking for a tax break. A Japanese man who attacked people who looked at his Winnie the Pooh costume. And shit hitting a fan (sort of literally).

3. The US Department of Injustice strikes again. Michael Mukasey will not prosecute Monica Goodling or any other federal employee because…..well, no one is quite sure. Jonathan Turley tells Keith that Mukasey would be a lot better Attorney General if he stopped using the Elmer Fudd defense of, “I’d be a lot better hunter if the varmints weren’t so fast.” Seems another one gets away.

2. Worst Persons in the World:

Bronze to Rocky Mountain News which is passing on the right wing smear attempt that claims Obama is a Kenyan citizen.

Silver to Sean Hannity who thinks Obama should have to go on Fox News to clear up all the mistakes Fox News makes about him and his family.

Gold to American Airlines and its chairman for charging our troops extra for baggage and expecting them to fill out expense reports in between dodging bullets.

Commercial - At this point I get to view T. Boone Pickens once again tell me why he should be super rich rather than the Saudi Arabians. It is enough to turn a person off of the idea of wind power.

1. Factor Fiction is back with the Stewie lead in and Keith doing Bill O’Reilly’s voice. Seems Bill-O would like to take the opportunity to trash John Edwards for going outside his marriage, because Bill O’Reilly would never do something like that himself. Nope. Never, ever. And Keith also provides O-Reilly with a much needed math lesson concerning homeless vets.

Monday’s tie: Candy cane

Segue music: The Sonics - You’ve Got Your Head on Backwards

Worst Person in the World: Stuart Shepard of Focus on the Family wants us all to pray for it to rain on Obama’s parade in Denver.  How droll.

5.  With the conflict between Russia and Georgia ongoing, both McCain and Obama provided statements today.   Obama (speaking from his vacation in Hawaii) called for mediation and legitimate peacekeeping measures, while offering criticism to both the Russian and Georgian governments.  McCain spoke blandly and carried a big stick, telling Russia they better stand down… or else… and stuff.  Unfortunately for McCain, there are a couple of sticking points with his speech.  First, it’s being alleged that he lifted parts of it from Wikipedia.  Also, he pretty much admitted that the conflict is important to us because of oil.  Meanwhile, GWB (who also had to answer questions about the conflict with Bob Costas over the weekend) and Dick Cheney are also talking tough, urging Russia to back off, man.

But what exactly do McCain, Bush, et. al., mean to do about Russia?  Flynt Leverett of the New America Foundation isn’t too impressed thus far.   It doesn’t help that one of McCain’s top foreign policy advisers was a lobbyist for Georgia, but it also isn’t clear what exactly we can hope to gain by piling criticism on Russia.  Like it or not, the conflict is probably at least indirectly a result of the poor US/Russian relations during the Bush administration (like, if we hadn’t ignored Russia for years, the conflict might have been able to be contained or mediated).    Leverett thinks Obama’s more nuanced approach, urging negotiation to avoid the use of force, is interesting but the outcry from the neo-cons ought to drown any of that out.  Rachel Maddow also weighs in, accusing McCain’s mouth of writing checks his ass can’t cash.  She thinks he’s being overly confrontational with regards to Russia, because it’s not like he can back up any of his comments.  What are we going to do?  Send troops in to make them behave?

4.  With Obama on vacation this week, McCain should have the news cycle all to himself.  So, rather than talk about the important issues, McCain’s campaign manager naturally went on FOX News to be coy about the convention.  Namely whether McCain will make a pledge to serve only one term.   Despite the fact that McCain has already pledged to do no such thing.  (McCain’s campaign manager also said that his candidate won’t have any politics in the White House.)  Eugene Robinson thinks the one term pledge idea is a non-starter and people are just floating the idea to make the public believe that there will be some sort of drama at the convention (and this will apparently make them want to watch it).  He and Keith also discuss a report from the NYT that claims McCain’s staff is trying to limit his cell phone usage to keep him on message (Gene says it won’t work; being off-message seems to be a hallmark of the McCain campaign), and then they chuckle over the news that the GOP had a $10m shortfall in their convention funds.  Don’t worry - they’ve got all their money now.

Bushed: Tort reform advocate files “frivolous” lawsuit, continuing doubts on the guilt of anthrax terror suspect Bruce Ivins and the Iraqi government is not interested in a “time horizon,” they want a very clear timetable on US withdrawal set by the end of the month.

Oddball:  This lady really wanted a Slushie.  And your Creepy Ass Robot of the Day.

Best Persons: The Welsh have an issue with Cher, man tries to rob video store with an empty box and George Bush hates America.

3.  At some point, being a political celebrity became a bad thing.  As a response to McCain’s “Vacuous Blondes” ad, the Obama campaign released their own ad, accusing McCain of being a celebrity in his own right.   Jon Alter says the only advantage the ad has is that it shows more clips of McCain embracing Bush than of him cavorting with celebs (and helpfully points out that Obama was not a military general).  Alter contends that the new method of attacking somebody for being a celebrity comes from the taunt of “Hollywood Liberal,” which the GOP used forcefully during the Clinton administration (and we see how well it worked).  Keith is also a little confused by the ads that the candidates are choosing to run during the Olympics - Obama’s are happy and hopeful while McCain’s are dour and… McCain-esque.  And he and Jon are both confused by Howard Wolfson’s contention that if the Edwards affair had come out before the Iowa Caucuses (which would have forced Edwards to drop out then), Hillary Clinton would be the Democratic nominee right now.  Because (Monday morning quarterbacking aside), it’s not true.

2.   Sean Hannity has never brought up Obama’s race - and neither has anybody else.  And FOX News anchor Greg Jarrett somehow thinks John Edwards’ affair affects the situation in Georgia.

1.  With the election looming, McCain and Obama are still angling for one important endorsement: that of Angelina Jolie.  OHMYGODWHOCARES?!?!?!?!   Paul F. Tompkins doesn’t care.  And I really don’t care.  I get it.  She’s better than me.  She cares more… about the world… and children… and things.  But the future of the free world and indeed, this election, do not depend on the thoughts of Angelina Jolie.  (And besides, she strikes me as a Ron Paul supporter - and I’m  over half serious about that).  Paul and Keith also discuss the Bush/Costas interview and whether George Clooney and Barack Obama are BFF.  (What the hell does Angelina Jolie need a political adviser for?)

Tie: This red one, again.

Segue:: Happy Trails.

Worst Person::Newt Gingrich, for hating a quote that Reagan used

Breaking News: Former Presidential candidate John Edwards admits an extra-marital affair. As a member of that populist base Keith mentions, I can add little to the thousand things already said. My thoughts are with Elizabeth at this time.

4.With Obama on vacation, Hillary Rodham Clinton campaigns for her former rival.

Bushed
American Conservative confirms reporter Ron Suskind’s report of a forged letter linking Al Queda and Iraq.

OddballAnother politically contentious August 8 occurred at the hands of vice President Spiro Agnew

3. Baseball stats geek Nate Silver is predicting a fifty-five point electoral win for Barack Obama, using many polls and simulations. Will the Cubs win the World Series? There is an awful lot of history against them, but there are people predicting it.

Worse John McCain, for misreading the Hamdan verdict.
Worser:: Billo, for sending a minion to hound Robert Wexler.

1. I still don’t really think Christian Finnegan is funny, although I’m in the wrong frame of mind to appreciate snark about Darth Cheney

Tie: It’s dark with a pattern. It may even be that one you see over to the left, there.
Music: Gene Chandler - “Rainbow”
Worst Person: Rudy Giuliani, all up in arms about that non-existent “the Chinese can drill off the coast of Florida!” story. Hey, KO. There’s plenty to mock about Giuliani just with, you know. What he says, does, and appears to think. Making fun of someone’s speech impediment is low, certainly below you. [Also: Seriously, Glenn Beck?]

For the record, I had no idea Dan would be on tonight when I bastardized his catchphrase for the subject line on last night’s recap. It’s just a delightful, happy coincidence.

Breaking news tonight, as it has been reported that Bill Clinton will speak at the DNC in two weeks — at Senator Obama’s request. Senator Clinton will also speak at the convention, though there are still rumors of tension between her and Obama, and rumblings that she’s still all manner of unhappy with how things have gone/are going.

When asked by ABC news if Obama was qualified to be president, President Clinton spoke at length about how no one’s really ever totally ready to be president, but he said Obama was smart and got people excited, etc. Obama said he appreciated Clinton’s restraint in what was a provocative interview.

The McCain campaign has a new web ad (oy)! It’s … full of testimonials from Democrats, about how great he is, and how he’s the maverickiest maverick who ever mavericked. Except the majority of the clips used are kind of old. Democrats came out with a rebuttal ad quickly, featuring all the same Democrats talking about how the John McCain of right now is not that same “maverick” we saw eight or more years ago.

Oddball: An update to the Reggie Paterson story - audio! ** And (also) in Florida, a guy picked another guy’s pocket — is it still “picking” someone’s pocket if you manhandle their wallet off of them? Anyway, he turned himself in the next day, so it’s all alright.

John Boehner is trying to rally Republican colleagues to give up their vacations to encourage Dems to do the same, so everyone can come back & vote on drilling. Boehner is currently, and was last weekend, too - golfing.

Oh, I haven’t even begun to process the idea that Favre is on the Jets, now. But hey, who the hell cares, because Dan is there, everyone! He is … wow, his head looks huge. And he’s sitting in front of an Emmy award. No way to tell from here if it’s his or if he lifted it off Costas. Dan is talking to Keith on my television. I am nearly vibrating with happiness. I am also hearing Dan say what I heard from him on the radio almost exactly twelve hours ago. Dan! Keith! Cracking each other up! This segment could be about their favorite kinds of cereal and I’d be psyched. Anyway, Favre’s on the Jets now. Tickets are selling, jerseys are in most places already sold out, and Keith says Jets fans are going crazy (how can one tell?). Dan thinks the Jets fan will be more relaxes, at least getting the shot to look at a HoF QB. And you thought the traffic was bad on the turnpike near East Rutherford on any given Sunday during a normal football season (well, you didn’t necessarily think that — but I’ll tell you. It is). Superbowl champs on some weekends, Brett the Jet on others. Should be an interesting season.

Hee! Ok, Dan says he “borrowed” the Emmy from Costas. Sure, sure. I mean, the guy’s got them stored in swag closets all around NYC, as I have been led to believe. He won’t miss it.

Keith and Dan, everyone! They make my heart happy. Keith signs off, throws the paper, then turns back to the guest monitor and grins.

I’m glad I got to do tonight’s recap. And now I’m gonna’ go watch the #1 segment again.

See you next time.

Tie: Brown and stripey
Music: Weird Al - “Lasagna”
Worst Person: Nikki Tinker, I’ve been in your churches, and I haven’t yet used my scary Jew-horns to frighten good Christian children, or been struck down by the Almighty or anything! Plus, that guy already got elected once. You’re not insinuating anything the people of your district don’t already know, you’re just doing it in an uglier fashion. Maybe chill out with that business, k?

John McCain wants to make it clear: he totally thinks we should all drive around on inflated tires! Because grinding down your rims on the pavement … that’s not change we can believe in.

But man, what’s he gonna’ do with all those tire gauges? Obama’s not worried about it, as the Republican candidate’s clarification today gave him the chance to get a laugh.

By the way, the Straight Talk Express (with its no doubt impeccably inflated tires), was seen sporting some interesting bumper flash Tuesday night.

Hey, so the new graphic, with the extra big “Countdown to November 4″ banner? Is less a lower third, and more a lower half. Just saying. Leave me some Gene Robinson to look at, MSNBC-folk.

And Keith, sit on the back of your suit jacket a little more. You’re getting a bit of a hump tonight (obligatory: “what hump?”). Don’t make me send William Hurt circa 1987 over there. I’ll do it.

Chuck Todd’s there to break down some map magic, and we’re officially talking about electoral votes! I did a tiny happy fist pump when Keith mentioned New Jersey moving from leaning towards Obama to “probable” for him, which quickly morphed into a Simpsons style fist shake of “Don’t f it up, everyone.”

The government is now positive that the late Dr. Bruce Ivins, and he alone, was guilty of the anthrax attacks of seven years ago.

Oddball: In Northwood, Ohio … a “two-faced kitty“! Aw. It’s kinda’ cute. ** And in Mayfield, Kentucky, thieves tried to steal a riding mower, and then a tractor, aaaaaand failed at both.

Neil Katyal was there tonight, because his client, former driver for Osama Bin Laden Salim Hamdan, was today found guilty today of “supporting terrorism” by … having been Bin Laden’s driver. Hamdan was found not guilty on the more serious terrorism charges. And it only took seven years. That’s one down …

Maria Milito is there, even though it’s a wholly non musical story! That’s ok, I kind of adore her. Anyway! McCain & his campaign apparently liked the Paris Hilton spoof ad. Keith can’t seem to wrap his head around this fact, and wants us to believe that McCain liked it because he didn’t get it. Because … people aren’t capable of understanding and enjoying fun being poked in their general direction? Come on, KO. You might find the funny if someone were to - in a humorous way - call you a square craniumed blowhard whose smug is perma-turned to eleven, right? Right? Oh. Right. Never mind.

That’s it for me tonight. I’ll see you next time.

Monday’s tie: Navy

Segue music:  Fugue for Tinhorns from Guys & Dolls

Worst Person in the World: Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh, banging on about Barack Obama’s suggestion that we maintain our cars.

5.  The hot topic on the campaign trail today was energy policy.  Barack Obama repeated his position that off-shore drilling won’t solve the problem of high oil costs (and suggested that we might want to tap into the Strategic Oil Reserve).   He also suggested (among other things) that one way we can save on oil consumption is to do proper maintenance on our cars, doing things such as keeping our tires inflated.  The McCain camp responded with ROFL’s and a new fundraising gimmick.  (I’m amused that Keith’s staff did their tire gauge price checking at Amazon.)    Still, the McCainiacs might not be laughing if they remembered that a) that’s not the only part of Obama’s energy plan and b) auto maintenance has been recommended by Govs. Charlie Crist and Ahhhhnold, NASCAR and the Department of Energy (and also my dad, who is forever discussing the importance of car maintenance and who topped off my tires just yesterday).  Jon Alter explains this is all part of an attempt to Jimmy Carter-ize Obama by trivializing the real issues.  This is something that the Republicans have been effective at for quite some time, classic misdirection.  The Democrats hit back less often, but when they do, it’s about more substantiative issues (and they don’t always land a great punch).  Also, that Paris n’ Britney ad?  Might be racist (the Harold Ford-ing of Obama).  For his part, Jon doesn’t see the ad as blatantly racist, but he can see how others could take it that way.

Remember Obama’s working-class white voters problem?  According to a new poll, he actually has a ten-point lead over McCain with that demographic, mostly thanks to his position on health care.  Skittles, it’s Eugene Robinson!  Turns out all that working-class white voter stuff was largely a matter of perception.  Since Obama isn’t running against Hillary Clinton anymore, it looks like they just don’t like Republicans.  Obama also appears to be picking up Latino and Jewish voters.  Eugene doesn’t think that this campaign is going to boil down to the demographics though; one of the big discoveries in the Kaiser Foundation poll was that WCWV’s are worried about the loss of the American Dream and they feel that John McCain might not share their important values and can’t ensure that their children will have a better life.

4.  Looks like the Straight-Talk Express might have jumped the rails.  Steven Price, a reporter for the Tallahassee Democrat, was asked to leave a McCain campaign event, supposedly because he didn’t have the proper credentials.   According to McCain’s people, Price was in an area reserved for national pool reporters only, even though by several accounts, the only media at the event was state and local.  Camp McCain also says that race wasn’t an issue, but Price might have been the only black guy in the area.  Mr. Price joined Keith to talk about the oddness.  (Seriously, every political event I’ve ever been to, the only difference between national and local reporters is that the nationals get the better camera stands.)

Oddball: It’s the anniversary of the Borden murders.  The town that brought you Carpet Store Window Angel now presents Palm Tree Jesus!  And Joel McHale throws down.  Keith responds: Neener.

Best Persons: We shan’t be seeing our friend Dana Milbank again as he’s taken another TV gig (on CNN, opposite Countdown).  Assuming this isn’t the equivalent of him taking all his toys and going home as a result of the controversy riddled Obama column, we’ll wish him well.   If you are going to shoplift a purse, make sure not to put your wallet in it, abandon it and then call the store later to see if they still have it.   And also don’t take a horse into a public bathroom.

3.  After the suicide of anthrax terror suspect Bruce Ivins, the government’s case against him might be closed.  Unfortunately, we still have more questions than answers about the whole business.  And it looks as though the Bush administration may have tried to push the FBI to pin the anthrax attacks of October 2001 on al Qaeda or someone else in the Middle East.  Gerald Posner joins Keith again and is fairly disgusted.  The FBI already knew that the anthrax was weapons grade and therefore too sophisticated for al Qaeda, et al to have made, but the Agency is full of people who would have caved to Bush’s demands.  As such, the investigation probably spun off in the wrong direction and delayed their findings.  Also, the case against Ivins is largely circumstantial and certain events hinge on the word of the therapist who took out a restraining order against him - her testimony being somewhat dubious at best.  Posner says that we can’t rush any conclusions on this case and indicates he’s not sold on the “lone mad scientist” theory.

2.  Parents: Don’t forget your kids at the airport.  Members of the House of Representatives: Don’t boo veterans.

1.  Just months after a retirement speech reminiscent of Jimmy Swaggart crying for the Lord, Brett Favre was reinstated to the NFL and rejoined the Packers at training camp.   This after a hullabaloo that involved rumors that Green Bay would pay Favre to stay retired and after the organization hired former White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer to help with damage control.  Jim VandeHei, executive editor of Politico.com and guest blogger at Packergeeks.com stops by to dish.  Right now, it sounds like Favre will have to compete to get the starting QB spot, which VandeHei and Keith both think is pretty laughable.  And even though Favre is a bit of a bitch-diva drama queen and the Packers GM basically hates him, the team would have been incredibly stupid not to let him back because, let’s face it, he wins games.  Packers fans might be happy to see him back now, but some might start to get sick of all the drama.  Keith also addresses speculation that Favre might have gone to the Minnesota Vikings, which VandeHei says would have been akin to Keith joining FOX News as Billo’s sideman.  Keith promptly vomits on his desk.  Ok.  I made that last part up.