Ahhhh, I can officially get into football. My baseball season is over (though I’m still rooting for a team which, since my love is evidently poison, I shall not name), and I can now shift focus without guilt. So football it is!! Dan, Keith … teach me to love again.

Browns 20, Bengals 12: Ohio, a battleground state once again! Bengals fall despite fielding the first ever starting QB from Harvard. So d’you think Dan specifically asked to do this one, given his homestate-ness and all?

Saints 31, Niners 17: Drew Brees — quite good at the football. Keith trips over the last name “Kaesviharn” and lands in a pile of stutter. The Niners have given up 95 points in the last three games. Yow. Aaaaand then Reggie Bush talks but I miss everything he said because he was wearing a brown satin dress shirt with epaulets and I forgot to actually listen to him.

Panthers 24, Falcons 9: The best part of The Dan n’ Keith Show being back on TV is that when one of them says something like “…and the fans were excited,” the other one’s there to join them in an unspirited “yaaaaaaaay.” A zoom effect scares Keith, but it’s all right because there’s Dan with the Dion reference, Carolina with the offense, and the Falcons … at the stadium at well.

Cris is hurt that Dan & KO made fun of his Bengals. “we leave it to the Bengals to make fun of the Bengals, Cris,” Dan says, “we don’t need you.”

I like that there’s someone in the NFL named Jonathan Stewart.

Chiefs 33, Broncos 19: You guys, the Chiefs won. A whole game. That’s very exciting for them. It’s their first win since 10/21 of last year.

Jets 56, Cardinals 35: The Jets were in their throwback NY Titans unis, but you could apparently put Brett Favre in an Expos uniform and he still has a damn fine chance of trouncing the opposition. “The guys in the Wrangler commercial play better defense” than the Cards, Dan says. A scary moment towards the end of the game when the Cards’ Anquan Boldin was knocked unconscious in the end zone and, though he was eventually able to move his extremities on the field, was taken away on a stretcher to the hospital for precautionary observation.

Titans 30, Vikings 17: Dan and Keith return from commercial trying to suppress grins (and failing). Noting that Tennessee/Minnesota doesn’t automatically strike them as a natural geographic rivalry, Dan asks Keith if he knows the last time Minnesota played in Nashville. “1857?” Keith guesses. 1988 is the actual answer, and what’s important to know here is that the footage shown under all this comes from Tenessee’s bizarre pregame (halftime?) show, in which there are Viking boats being rammed by Titans-branded submariney things, and a mascot v. mascot slapfight. The Titans mascot is some kind of racoon, I think. ANYWAY. The Titans are off to their first 4-0 start in ever!

My football team doesn’t have cheerleaders. What’s up with that? They also didn’t have a game this week, but that’s neither here nor there.

Jaguars 30, Texans 27: Houston, hello. It was hot today in Texas, but that didn’t stop the Jags from edging out a win. [It’s now raining really hard where I am, and while my TV is as loud as it goes, I still can’t quite hear everything, so I apologize if I miss something] “…setting up Chris Brown, from way downtown… Bang!” — it’s even nicer when you have a ice rhymey name lead-in isn’t it? I should also note that Dan supplied the “Bang!”, that Keith said “Thank you,” and that I love Sunday nights.

Cris’s tie looks an awful lot like one KO has. Also, Dan, Cris’s name isn’t actually Cristopher. Heck, it’s not even Cris. It’s Anthony Cris, and oh my gosh, someone convince me not to call him “Tony” for the rest of the season .

Bills 31, Rams 14: The Rams lost an early lead (oh, but it must have been nice for them while it lasted), and do you get the sense that the Bills are going to be good this year? I get the sense that the Bills are going to be good this year. Just seems right that they should, you know?

Chargers 28, Raiders 18: “Lane Kiffin is still the head coach,” Dan intros the package, “but it’s still early in the highlight.” Boy, howdy, Dan. It’s a pretty close game until the fourth, when things go south for Oakland. LaDainian Tomlinson is not to be messed with.

Redskins 26, Cowboys 24: They show the mascots — the Cowboy beating up the … wow, how much do I not want to say the name of the Washington team? The cowboy beating up the other mascot, then, aaaaand it’s just as awkward and wrong as you’re imagining. “And now the mascots will reenact American history,” Keith says.

The Little Big Show revisits Favre tying the NY franchise record for single game TD throws, while Aaron Rodgers on the team Favre left behind … did not fare so well. Also, can I just say that the soundtrack behind this segment is crazily intense? Way too intense, it would seem, to play background to Dan making funny noises?

*gasp*

The Rock Center background behind them is a screen! It’s not real? Aw man. I was told that by a reliable source, but I didn’t want to believe it. A blip of grey replacing the exterior shot seems to cement it as truth. Sad. Next you’ll be telling me that Keith gets his snark via transdermal patch.

Halftime: I fell asleep on my arm during the first half! Typing this a la Keith & finding it v. difficult! The boys revisit the highlights of the day. Some highlights of the highlights include Keith bellowing “BYEE-EEE!” - as well as Aaron Rodgers saying post-game that he thinks he may have separated his shoulder (tests forthcoming). And Anquan Boldin is ok! Whew.

And this year’s Superbowl entertainment will be provided b-OH MY GOD BRUCE AT THE SUPERBOWL. DEFINITELY THIS TIME YOU GUYS. AAAAAH HOLY CRAP THIS IS FANTASTIC NEWS.

Ok. I just smiled so hard for so long that I have a headache now. But it’s ok. I’m ok. Also … suddenly incredibly excited about February.

That is it for me tonight. We’ll see you tomorrow for Countdown.