Either Relevant or True » This is what happens to people who do bad things…

Tie: Purple, with stripes
Music: “Your Cheatin’ Heart”
Worst Person: Ed Tinsley said something dumb at a debate, and was quickly - and loudly - booed by the crowd for it. That took care of itself nicely!

The President of Georgia has implored John McCain to do more than just say supportive things about the conflict. Maybe they’ve hit up McCain for action because the senator’s top foreign policy adviser is a lobbyist for Georgia. The US has sent humanitarian aid, the President - just back from his Olympics trip - postponed his Crawford vacation, and has sent Secretary Rice, and … that’s about it for now.

Now, onto the DNC. Or rather … the scheduling of the speakers at the convention. Keith teases it by getting out most of the sentence: “Obama is about to choose-” before the screen cuts to the break. Cute. Anyway, because this guy’s been announced as the keynote speaker, and this woman’s speaking earlier in the week, and because VP Announcement Day coincides with the convention’s day set aside for national security … ~~all~~ some signs point to this guy! Well. Maybe. Bayh’s still on the table, though not literally, because that would be weird.

Main thing standing in Joe Biden’s way? Joe Biden. Guy has a rep for being Captain Mis-speak, on occasion, spinning on that dizzy edge between “Hey, we’re just talkin’ here! It’s off-the-cuff time with Joey B!” and “Oh crap, that is not what I meant to say. Is that tape recorder on? It is. Huh.”

Bushed: Homeland Security’s new counter-spy tips n’ tricks seem kind of … Homeland Security 101 ** As previously mentioned, President Bush is heading to Texas for a little vacation following his vacation, bringing his grand total of vacation days during his time in office to just about two years. It’s good to be the king. ** Hiu Lui Ng came to New York in 1992, and lived as an American until he was arrested by immigration officials. He died in custody at the age of 34, of cancer, after months of having his pain, and his pleas for medical assistance, ignored.

Oddball: It’s Hitch’s birthday! If you’re a Netflix member, head on over and watch a bunch of old Alfred Hitchcock Presents episodes. Go ahead, the recap will still be here when you’re done. ** Minor League baseball organizations have been conducting informal polls to forecast who our next Commander in Chief will be! Fans went into a little booth and selected the bobblehead toy of their choice: McCain or Obama. Obama wins! Obama wins! Obama wins! ** DeWitt County, Texas has a bit of a cryptozoology problem. Or a weird … dog/coyote/tiny donkey problem. I’m going with OMG CHUPACABRA because it’s tons more fun to say.

Elizabeth Edwards’ brother has entered into the scandal to talk about how John told his family what he’d done. But more importantly, Rush Limbaugh is an absolute, total, incontestably excreable alleged human being. After hemming and hawing about how he couldn’t share his theory of how the affair happened on air, he did anyway. It’s summed up thusly: “It just seems to me that Edwards might be attracted to a woman whose mouth did something other than talk.” I have thoughts on this, and theories of my own … but they are truly. Truly. Not fit for air. If you missed it, check out what Keith said. It’s what I would have said, except my text would have caused more nuns to faint.

Finally, Joel McHale is there to put an end to the feud which kinda’ ceased being funny about two volleys ago. I’m all for Keith and McHale palling around, but give it a tiny break. Let it get funny again. Joel’s an actual comedian — I trust him on these things. I’m not sure Keith would have ever dropped this, given the chance. But whatever. I’m happy for any and all Joel + Keith we can get. Long live the truce.

Since Biden dropped out, I’ve been keeping my fingers crossed for a veep pick. He was my first pick for nominee, sure, but honestly, I just want to see him eviscerate whoever McGrumpy chooses.

Just when I think Rush can’t get more disgusting.

How can one not love all of Keith’s positive references to smart women?

I am not clear on where Rush got the notion that smart women do not participate in oral sex, but, then, I cannot imagine any smart women, heck, even any woman of very average intelligence, being willing to engage in any kind of sex with Rush Limbaugh. The YUCK cringe factor would totally depress the libido.

Annoyed as I am at him for being so dumb and adding to his wife’s hell, I still see John Edwards’ meltdown as symptomatic of the self destruction that so often accompanies child loss.

Our culture does not allow men to grieve or to exhibit any sign of weakness, and at some point the break occurs, and it is not at all uncommon for it to come years afterwards.

In Compassionate Friends we estimate that over 90% of marriages end after an older child is killed as Wade Edwards was ( A very different dynamic from losing an infant or small child or losing a child to illness), as the grieving needs of the two parents can be so different and very at odds with each other.

I hope that Elizabeth will go forward and speak at the Democratic Convention, and I wish that all of the news shows and tabloids would stop pursuing the more lurid aspects of what is an ongoing family tragedy.

I loved the “E!Harmony” subtitle during the final segment. Kudos to the author(s) - they are witty (nay, genius) and often hilarious.

Fingers crossed for Biden, please, oh, please.
Stef, you are spot on with the McHale segment recap.
Limpbo is an ‘effing pig, just disgusting. I did love the shot that Keith took at him about the dream job, nice. I am glad Keith is also going after Hannity more, besides Billdo.

HuffPost is beta testing “local” sections for the blog and started with Chicago. Here is a nice piece written by Chicago native Jon Alter. Yes Becky, he IS a big Cubs fan. ;)

http://tinyurl.com/5abl34

I heard that Hitchcock actually made up that story about being locked in a jail cell. Don’t know how you would check that sort of thing.

One of my favorite things to do when I was a teenager before cable tv was to take the old portable black and white tv out in the backyard and watch old “Alfred Hitchcock Presents” re-runs on summer nights outside. Very atmospheric.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=_pY08e_tdtA

Cut, paste, open new browser tab.

Now that you’ve done that, time for tonight’s nominees for Worst Person in the World.

The bronze, aptly enough, to Swedish Greco-Roman wrestler Ara Abrahamian. At the medal ceremonies for his weight class at the Summer Olympics in Beijing, events by the way you can watch on MSNBC by the way [blatant sublimial plug], he took his bronze medal and tossed onto the middle of the mat in protest to losing a semifinal match to the eventual Olympic gold medalist, Italian Andra Ningurzzi in which Mr. Arbahamian protested to the referee, the judge and the match chairman using that noted obsenity “Gianluca Pagliuca”, and then slammed his fist into a metal barracade while his coach Leo Nyllari said that it all involved politics.

Now I’m confused here. Is this amateur wrestling or is this professional wrestling, a/k/a “Sports Entertainment” a/k/a Fake Fighting? I’m damned sure somewhere there’s a steel folding chair Mr. Abrahamian has with Vince McMahon’s autograph on it. And this whole thing about politics in the Olympics? Mr. Nyllari, I’m afraid I’m going to ask you to step outside.

Tonight’s runner up, radical right wing whacko Milwaukee broadcaster Mark Relling of WISN-AM radio in the Wisconsin city of beer. He offended every teachers union in America upon the topic of global warming by calling them “idiot union gravely overpaid teachers, liberal union hacks” and “fruitcakes.”

Mr. Relling, Al Gore is on Line Two for you. Also, you have offended the noble job of teaching children, even high schoolers, with those comments my friend. I respected every teacher in school from kindergarden through college, and they are underpaid, not overpaid. They do it for the learning experience my friend. You sir, are usually a replacement for Comedian Rush Limbaugh when he goes shopping for little blue M&Ms, er, on vacation. You sir, like Rush, are a hole.

But our winner, Republican strategist John Feehrey. What did he do to win this award? Well, on Wolf Blitzkreig’s “The Situation Room” on CNN, he compared the nomination placement of Hilary Rodham Clinton that “reminds him of Vladmir Putin invading Georgia.” But he also further compounded his errors by stating that “Barack Obama is out in the Safeco Field somewhere doing his speech.”

Well sir, you just can’t find your rear end with a GPS like Billo The Clown’s stalker/producers. If you should go to Safeco Field two weeks from tonight, it will be empty. The Seattle Mariners have the night off, and secondly, the Democratic National Convention is in Denver, Colorado and Barack Obama will be speaking at Invesco Field at Mile High upon my last checking in a fortnight. All I can say is “Have fun in the Pacific Northwest!”

Republican stratedigist John Feehrey - quick, someone get this guy an atlas from Rand McNally for crying out loud! - today’s WORST…PERSON…IN THE WORLD!

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