Monday’s tie: Pink

Segue music: Newcleus - Jam On It

Worst Person in the World: Comedian Rush Limbaugh once mis-took the mayor of Los Angeles for a shoeshine boy.  As one does.

5. On the eve of the Indiana and North Carolina primaries, Senators Clinton and Obama are both clamoring for every last vote.  This as a new New York Times/CBS poll indicates that either would handily defeat John McCain in the general election.  Determining the favorite in the Democratic race is proving to be more difficult, with some polls putting Obama ahead, some putting Clinton ahead and some polls even contradicting each other.  Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton is still calling for a temporary freeze on the gas tax even though Congress won’t go for it and despite the fact that it won’t make gas cheaper.  And the Huffington Post is reporting that the Clinton camp is looking to leverage any gains tomorrow with the DNC  Rules and By-Laws Committee to try and get the Michigan and Florida delegates seated.  Which doesn’t sound shady at all.  Dana Milbank isn’t expecting any surprises tomorrow, so he’s already packing to spend a month in Puerto Rico, which leads Keith to suspect that the protracted campaigning is really just a scheme to get everybody to go to PR and party.  And Chuck Todd, as always, has done the math.  There are 187 delegates to be decided tomorrow.  After that, there will officially be fewer delegates from the campaign trail than can be made in backroom deals and from committing superdelegates.  And anyway, there aren’t that many primaries and such left that will give any surprise results, so now it’s just a guessing game on the undeclared delegates.  Chuck says if he was Hillary Clinton, he’d be worried that so many of the superdelegates from California haven’t publicly stated a preference, since she won the state so handily.

Of course, if Chuck was Hillary Clinton, he wouldn’t have time to join Keith, Chris Matthews and a host of others for tomorrow night’s coverage of the Indiana and North Carolina primaries.  LIVE!

4.  Keith breaks down the metrics of the Clinton campaign.  Does your vote matter? Mine doesn’t.  I’m from a caucus state that borders Illinois and that doesn’t elect female governors or congresspeoples and doesn’t have a large population, I’m a college-educated independent young person of a certain age, I’m an impressionable elite who also votes based on foreign policy issues (and who has lived abroad) and my caucus was early in the campaign.  But that’s ok, since there is literally no set of variables which would lead me to vote for Hillary Clinton in the first place, so clearly she won’t miss it.

Oddball: It’s Michael Palin’s birthday!   A guy can play music on a leaf, boomerangs… in… SPAAAAACE, and a vet learns that big dogs and chairs with casters don’t mix.

Best Persons: Method acting?   I’d like to commend this man on pre-planning his funeral, but PBR? And he was just cleaning it and it went off!  Honest!

3.  John McCain says that we will not fight wars for oil.  So ignore whatever it was he said last week.  And also anything Jon Kyl might have to say on the subject.  John McCain también puso en marcha un sitio web en español, a pesar de que apenas hace dos años, defendió la legislación que promueve el Inglés como idioma nacional. Si esta traducción una mierda, culpa de Google.  And yes, Matt Taibbi is the son of NBC’s Mike Taibbi, and his Wikipedia entry makes him sound like kind of a douche, at least to me anyway.

2.  Little Doocy finally returns from drinking with John McCain to make fun of the Democrats (isn’t he a clever one?) and Bill Kristol says some stuff.

1.  I kind of feel like I will die if I don’t see Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay.   I cried during the first one and also?  N. P.  MF-ing.  H.  And unicorns.  Keith is joined by Kal Penn, Kumar himself.  Kal is funny and articulate.  And if you’ve seen the first one, you also know he has a nice ass.  So.  There’s that.

Happy Cinco de Mayo everybody!