No Keith billed in the introductory guest-rundown, but it’s Dan’s last day, so we’ll liveblog it anyway. Because, dammit, we love Dan.

That being said, if you insist on having some KO content here (on this … Keithcentric blog), read or re-read this Bloggermann piece from 6/14/2005, where, at the onset of rejoining Dan for the afternoon radio gig, Keith talks about their history.

Now. Back to Dan.

The last “…starts now” seems very sad. But! Dan’s “goal is to get out of here today without crying. 14 minutes and 40 seconds in … I’m doing pretty well”

Can I just say how much I hate that McGruff commercial with the singing kid? Haaaaaaate.

Costas comes on and immediately quotes Anchorman (”By the beard of Zeus”). I decide that I love Bob Costas.

They talk about baseball on the radio, how cable’s taken away from the romance of, as Dan says, “listening to a baseball game under my pillow.”

Hey, if there’s not room on Football Night in America for some serious, quality banter-time between KO & Costas? That’s a damn shame.

Mark Jackson stops by to very nearly make Dan cry. Someone’s at his door! What is the deal with Dan’s guests having guests? Dan asks if he’s the John Stockton of ESPN. Mark says he’s more like the Magic Johnson … it’s not about numbers, it’s about the guy who did it best.

LaDainian Tomlinson’s going to be coming up, as well as Ron Burgundy (and I can’t tell you how glad I am to have the day off from work, because the idea of this segment makes me practically glow with happiness), and Bob Knight — who’s evidently fishing in Idaho somewhere — was maybe going to call in. Dan imagines Coach Knight screaming at the fish. I choke on my coffee.

I’ve decided that “on assignment” just means “not here,” because that’s where Keith is. Or isn’t. I lost control of that thought. Anyway, Dan thanks him, in his absence, for all his contributions down through the years.

Remember: DanPatrick.com, for all your Dan-ly needs.

Dan went to check his mail one last time today, and they’ve already taken away his mailbox. He’s not even COLD, ESPN, MY GOD.

Hey, it’s Bob Knight! Fishin’ for rainbow trout!

“You are not only good, you are good and a good guy at the same time, and that’s not something that’s totally prevalent in your business.”

…ok, it’s very difficult for me to say this, but here goes: Aww. Bob Knight.

Dan Patrick Fashion Watch: He’s wearing a visor. I hope that’s not all.

You know, after the police uniform shirt yesterday, I got kind of sad thinking how awesome it might have been if Dan had dressed like a different Village Person every day this week.

2:20 - Hee, Awful Announcing wonders: Won’t anyone think of the sandwiches?! [h/t Becky]

Dan makes fun of Joe Montana’s sub-kicker-esque physique, then is joined by Joe and Jerry Rice on the ph– oh, it’s just Jerry Rice. Dan! You angered Joe!

Or … he was merely thwarted by phone technology.

Hey, this conversation with Jerry and Joe would be far more chaotic and/or more awesome if it was Dan and Keith on the other end of it, you know?

And now, for Phil’s Dan Patrick Show retrospective … we begin with that … massively uncomfortable Wet Dream conversation!

• Aw, next up, the “palaver” David Stern interview. A classic.
• Pete Rose!
• Dan Patrick sings the rap hits! Oh god, I forgot about that. Straight outta’ Dayton.
• Ohhh the Tanya Harding interview aga– ok, ESPN radio stream … today is not the day to fuck with me.

  OK, I don’t know how much I missed … ESPN you’re making it easy to let go.

I will say that in the last month without Dan, and in the coming … however long it takes to get him back on the air (DanPatrick.com’s countdown clock says 27 days, which brings us to the middle of September, so … let’s say then), I have missed, and will miss that ridiculous laugh of his.

It’s Ron Burgundy time! I preface this by saying that watching Anchorman is one of my family’s dearest cinematic traditions. That being said:

Sadly, Champ Kind is still doing sports on Ron’s news team, so there’s no room for Dan there.

Should Dan try to grow a mustache in his next career venture? Ron says he’s been on him to do so for the last twelve years to do a Mike Marshall type thing.

Ron gives us the story of Dan (Patrickson)’s life, including theme song and sponsorship by Haggar. It’s amazing.

“It’s a dodgy operation. I mean you’re getting off a sinking ship,” Ron says of ESPN. So … close … to not even kidding.

Aside from Dan, Ron admires the “few beers [he’s had] with Boomer. With Chris … Bermlin.”

(There’s a very real chance Will Ferrell’s being attacked by dogs) — this is the strangest thing that has ever happened on my radio.

That was insane.

3:19PM - They’re playing “How We Operate,” which is a good opportunity to talk about another thing I will miss: the interstitial music between segments. I was often surprised by Dan’s choices, and — amused at his insistence of late in mentioning Wolfmother at every opportunity. His enthusiasm for Beck, the occasional Metallica callback, the aforementioned Gomez track … it’s enough to overlook just how often he played that one Fountains of Wayne song.

Ken Griffey Jr. joins Dan, and no matter how much time passes (quite a bit) or how much baseball I watch (a lot), seeing and/or hearing Jr. will always first make me think of that Simpsons episode. I was just saying last night how much I wished more drug commercials warned about having “mild gigantism” as a side effect.

Griffey’s awfully low-key.

I’m thinking odds are good Keith will mention Dan on tonight’s show.

This is — and again, it’s not like Dan’s dropping off the face of the earth, so I’m trying to avoid the theatrics of a “This is what Dan means to me” type thing, but — as a sports fan, Dan has been a part of my life for … more than half of my life, at this point. When he was on Sportscenter, I hated to miss it. I made time, when he moved to radio, to listen, and to get over my usual dislike of sports talk radio (ok, that never happened. I can still only stand Dan).

We come back with Arcade Fire (see?), and Dan saying he’s 16 minutes away from getting through it without tears.

Some more great moments in DPS history: Michael Irvin, Dan Marino, Ja Rule, Vince Vaughan, Steve Young, Gene Kady, Ben Affleck, Smoooooooooooltz, John Daly, Jim McMahon (and his wookiee), Sir Charles, David Stern, Jose Canseco, Bill Clinton, Schilling, Dan’s RIDICULOUS giggle again, more Jerry Rice, Arnold Palmer, Shatner, Ferrell (singing Dust in the Wind).

And that’s it. Dan thanks everyone who worked and continues to work behind the scenes. He thanks his staff, including Phil the Showkiller. He thanks us.

He says he never wanted to be the reason someone turned on the tv or radio, or the reason someone turned it off, either.

He says “thank you.” He says “goodbye.”

And we’ll close with the perfect sentiment expressed by a great man, once upon a time:

Gone.