Monday’s tie: Generically dark tie.  On my computer it looks navy, on my TV it looks black.  You decide.

Segue music: None, but you can groove out to the Bill O’Reilly mega-mix. (NSFW lyrics.)

Worst Person in the World: It’s been a big day for Billy Boy.   After attacking the Seattle Post-Intelligencer for refusing to publish photos of alleged terror suspects, he sent a member of his production staff to the home of their publisher, Roger Oglesby, to harangue him about it. Turns out those suspects weren’t terrorists, they were businessmen visiting from Europe.  The P-I wants an apology.

5.  Hillary Clinton is going to win the West Virginia primary tomorrow night.  That’s not in dispute.   In fact, Barack Obama has basically conceded the contest already.  Hillary has already declared West Virginia to be a turning point and then she compares her projected victory to that of JFK in the 1960 election (leaving out the part about Joe Kennedy possibly buying the WV primary, of course).  Like it matters.  Not only did the Obama camp claim the lead in the superdelegate count over the weekend, they’ve already adjusted their campaign strategy with an eye towards McCain and the general election.  Howard Fineman makes a thing out of Obama wearing his flag lapel pin today (this earns a slight eye-roll from Keith, who points out that he has worn the flag pin in front of veterans groups before and not just like a fashion accessory).  Howard also says that Hillary staying in the race probably has nothing to do with helping Obama save face in preparation for defeat in West Virginia.  John Harwood practically vomits at the prospect of an Obama/Clinton ticket (it’s not going to happen - as he puts it, Hillary doesn’t have the “juice” for it - I’ve been saying this for months, man).  It’s slightly (although not entirely) more likely that the Obama camp could help buy the Clinton camp out.  According to Harwood, the Clintonistas have basically really run out of options - there is no knock-out punch left to hit Obama with.  The Rev. Wright scandal didn’t work and voters aren’t buying the gas tax proposal, so now we just have to wait for the inevitable.

Dig it, kids: Keith and Chris Matthews will be teaming up once again for live coverage of the West Virginia primary, tomorrow night starting at… OMG, Brian Williams is on MySpace. Anyway, expect them to declare Clinton the winner within moments of starting.  The team will then… play Scrabble or something for the next several hours.

4.  Et tu, Joe Lieberman?  Appearing on the Sunday news shows, Lieberman reiterated the supposed “support” from Hamas for a Barack Obama presidency.  Just so we’re clear: Hamas did not endorse Obama.  A spokesperson for Hamas just said he thinks Obama is a neat guy.  Keith is like, “WTF, Jon Alter?”  And Jon Alter is like, “Yeah, Lieberman does that sometimes.”  This isn’t the first hatchet job he’s pulled, and the McCain camp is likely to keep him around to try and pick up some independents.  Jon also says the whole thing is absurdity: just because John Hagee endorsed McCain doesn’t mean McCain subscribes to all of Hagee’s ideas, so why should we assume that one guy with ties to Hamas giving kudos to Obama means Obama hates Israel and all that?  (And Lieberman might want to watch his ass.)

Oddball:  It’s an anteater walking on his hind legs!   And this guy who smashed coconuts with his finger is retiring.  And his finger looks nasty.

3.  The McCain camp is complaining (specifically to Newsweek) that the media is showing bias towards Obama.   Lending considerable gravitas, Keith is joined by Bill Moyers.  Moyers freely admits that the media tends to show bias - but towards simplifying things, not towards candidates.  Essentially, they’d all like to fit “the message” onto a bumper sticker and leave it at that.  Moreover, since the media has adopted this ideology, they won’t be able to adequately report on the larger issues and deeper meaning of this campaign.  However, Moyers was encouraged to see that voters saw through the Wright scandal (he says he’s never seen anything like that) and the gas tax pandering.  He is also glad the Interwebs are around because it allows people to go online and become more informed so they can make up their own minds, rather than relying on the condensed message the media gives them.  (Well, maybe Bill Moyers.  But there’s a lot of crazy stuff on the internet.)  Also, I guess Bill Moyers and Jon Alter had some really good convo in the green room.

2.  Keeping Tabs: OMG, Bill O’Reilly totally lost his shit on Inside Edition.   (NSFW, unless you are Bill O’Reilly, in which case this is standard how you talk to people behavior.)  Oh, come now Keith.  I think there’s plenty examples of your off-screen behavior out there.

1.  Keith seems to have some sort of residual bitterness due to an injustice done to him during Model UN.  But clearly it’s nothing compared to the bitch-slap that Saturday Night Live delivered to Hillary Clinton this weekend.   Well it’s not like she could count on their support forever.  And for Dana Milbank, this pretty much indicates that everybody but Hillary Clinton thinks the race is over.  But she might not have seen the sketch since it was meaaaan.  And to answer Keith’s question: Dana Milbank will be played by Fred Armisen. Especially now that SNL has all summer to come up with a better Barack Obama.

Tie: Orange, with a pattern. Keith, Mom says it’s weird that your ties often don’t match your shirts. Of course, Sipowicz’ didn’t either, but I’m sure you’re not aiming to copy Dennis Franz’s look.

Segue: The Wonder Woman theme.

Worst Person:Roger Ailes, or should I say “You-Know-Who”(don’t want him to appear or anything) for firing an intern enthused about John McCain. And, oddly, he was not discriminating against someone with a brain injury(I made that part up.)

5.Hillary Clinton may be staying in the race to pay herself back, but Jonathan Alter doesn’t really think so. Still the “steady trickle” of superdelegate support toward the senator from Illinois has caused luminaries such as Rahm Emanuel and John Edwards to treat Obama as the nominee.
5a. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid(D–NV) joins Keith by satellite to talk about “unneccessary” telecom immunity and why Lieberman still has his committee assignments.

4. Okay, before I write about the McCain story, may I confess the Lieberman remark about “bearings” is giving me slashy McCain/ Lieberman thoughts against my will? Mr. Olbermann, whom should I bill for the brain bleach? Yourself or the network, because, ew. If we still had the Geneva convention, that ought to be on it.
In slightly less weird news, Arianna Huffington stands behind her account of what the McCains told her about their 2000 ballots. Rachel Maddow says this is an odd fight for a candidate to pick if he is trying to highlight the differences between himself and an unpopular incumbent.

Best Persons Someday, this will be as incomprehensible to future generations as “Kill Castro with exploding cigars,” is to me. It’s not that I didn’t trust Keith, but I still didn’t believe this till I read it myself. Better check the dosage on those beta-blockers….Dick.

Oddball: Makes me feel old by revealing it has been nineteen years since “It’s a terrible thing to lose one’s mind.” That same year, I got called a bleeding-heart in civics for the first time.(You never forget your first time.)

3. Pat Tillman’s mother Mary joins Keith, and despite her polished demeanor, her pain is almost palpable and I end up turning my face away several times during the segment. Anyone who could or would pile onto that, deserves to be spoken of mostly in expletives, in my humble opinion.

2.Worst Persons:
Worse: The supervisors of a Phillps gas station for letting an employee go for having too much in the safe, even after the station was robbed.

Worser: BillO, for continuing to project his Olbermann…issues onto GE(Be fair Keith, even his people would get tired of “Keith Olbermann is a big smarty-pants meaniehead. “)Eventually.

1. I love it when Keith gets fanboy, and his interview with comedic legendMort Sahl is no exception. It’s at a time like this when Olbermann is at his most relatable, without doing some gushy Oprah thing.

Tie: Red & stripe
Music: The Hardball Theme.
Worst Person: Fox’s E.D. Hill, who’s top story today was … boobies. Big ol’ boobies - not hers, mind you, but she illustrated the size of the breasts in question by holding up two jugs of milk roughly chest-high. No, Fox News. You stay classy.

I like when Keith quotes Paddy Tanniger (the golf course manager).

A brief note of thanks from me to the State of Indiana. They haven’t “mattered” in decades, they weren’t supposed to matter that much this year, and yet in a race that didn’t even get assigned a cute name from the cable nets, they gave us a primary that was - the first example of this in months now - actually exciting. Kudos, Hoosiers.

Keith’s hair’s looking very … high this week. Like he went in for a trim with the DVD case from House Party in hand and said “Like this, but more subtle.”

So last night’s (exciting! I stand by that!) primaries may … not end up meaning all that much - and from here on out assume that I’m typing while weeping bitterly. Superdelegates won’t make a decision, and Clinton has no intentions of dropping out any time soon.

Senator Clinton has lent her campaign a grand total of over eleven million dollars. She says it’s a testament to her commitment to the campaign.

Keith compares last night to Appomattox, in that it was when the Civil War ended, just … keep in mind that the fighting actually kept going on for awhile.

An unnamed senior Clinton official told the Wash. Post that they “lost this thing in February.” Ugh.

TRUEFACT: Sometimes, lately, on non-recap nights, I only watch the second half of Countdown. I know, I know, but it’s true. Just … incredibly important things are happening in the world. I’m tired of the nightly half-hour-plus’s worth of extra campaign trail dissection.

Oddball: It’s Tim Russert’s birthday. Happy birthday, Tim. ** The Reds got the crap kicked out of them by the Cubs (woo, Becky’s happy!), and then their mascot’s head fell off. Then today, they beat the Cubs pretty soundly (boo, Becky’s not happy anymore) ** In Vacaville, CA, a guy found a pitbull under the hood of his pickup! What the heck?

In the wake of increased focus on Obama as potential Dem candidate, the Republicans are all in a tizzy! Newt says a Reverend-Wright based smear campaign won’t work - oh noes! Rachel Maddow’s there, because she just sleeps on a cot near the back of the newsroom now, I think. With the caveat that she’s the least insidery person ever, she’s heard that a sure sign of the Clinton campaign beginning (”beginning”) to collapse like a flan in a cupboard would be Dianne Feinstein saying something negative about it. Dun dun daaaah. Then Keith mentions that he knows another of sign, but he shouldn’t say what it is just yet.

God this is like the twentieth time Keith’s teased the new Yankees Stadium story. Why not just take a block in the middle of the show and yell “HEY GUYS I VISITED THE NEW STADIUM AND YOU DIDN’T! NYEH NYEH NYEH! AHAHAHA YOU GUYS ARE SO LAME.” And “a hole in the ground” Keith? Considering that two stadiums are going up in a couple of years over in the outer boroughs while that OTHER hole in the ground you mentioned that one time is still — and will remain for quite a while longer — just that.

And about the new stadium. I’ve seen some drawings of their intended creation. And hey, if you like polished oak and martini bars, if you have $45 to drop on a ticket, you’ll love it. If you just want to watch baseball, I got twenty nine other stadiums you might want to check out.

They did give Keith a Yankees-branded construction helmet, though, which was nice of them. It’s also … very cute. So there’s that.

That’s it for us tonight! We’ll see you next time.

Hello, everyone! Tonight we are covering the North Carolina and Indiana primaries, live.

8:00 PM: We start off with a bang, with North Carolina being called for Obama. Indiana is still too early to call.

8:15 PM: Chuck Todd joined for an early breakdown of the numbers (and a failed attempt to use Chuck Todd’s magic to get Indiana called). If Clinton does not win Indiana with a double digit lead, Obama will probably finish with more delegates tonight. Sen. McCaskill joined to discuss the Obama campaign and his momentum.

8:30 PM: Howard Fineman joined. Apparently, the word from the superdelegates that have not yet chosen a candidate is, they will decide when the regular delegate race is essentially locked up - and this is projected to be May 20th. It’s unlikely that superdelegates would back a candidate that did not have the lead in regular delegates. Indiana is still too early to call, and the panel joins.

8:45 PM: Exit polling shows that Rush Limbaugh’s “chaos” strategy…failed! Polling of Republicans in Indiana show that they nearly split their votes between the two candidates, just like the overall results. David Axelrod, Obama’s chief strategist, joined to discuss the Obama campaign’s outlook tonight. Several urban counties in Indiana have not reported, and so Indiana is still too early to call.

9:10 PM: We go now to Obama’s speech in Raleigh, NC. The Indiana race has changed from “too early to call” to “too close to call”.

10:00 PM: Indiana is still too close to call, and one county is saying they will not have their votes counted until midnight.

On that note - I bid you good night on another primary evening!

Monday’s tie: Pink

Segue music: Newcleus - Jam On It

Worst Person in the World: Comedian Rush Limbaugh once mis-took the mayor of Los Angeles for a shoeshine boy.  As one does.

5. On the eve of the Indiana and North Carolina primaries, Senators Clinton and Obama are both clamoring for every last vote.  This as a new New York Times/CBS poll indicates that either would handily defeat John McCain in the general election.  Determining the favorite in the Democratic race is proving to be more difficult, with some polls putting Obama ahead, some putting Clinton ahead and some polls even contradicting each other.  Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton is still calling for a temporary freeze on the gas tax even though Congress won’t go for it and despite the fact that it won’t make gas cheaper.  And the Huffington Post is reporting that the Clinton camp is looking to leverage any gains tomorrow with the DNC  Rules and By-Laws Committee to try and get the Michigan and Florida delegates seated.  Which doesn’t sound shady at all.  Dana Milbank isn’t expecting any surprises tomorrow, so he’s already packing to spend a month in Puerto Rico, which leads Keith to suspect that the protracted campaigning is really just a scheme to get everybody to go to PR and party.  And Chuck Todd, as always, has done the math.  There are 187 delegates to be decided tomorrow.  After that, there will officially be fewer delegates from the campaign trail than can be made in backroom deals and from committing superdelegates.  And anyway, there aren’t that many primaries and such left that will give any surprise results, so now it’s just a guessing game on the undeclared delegates.  Chuck says if he was Hillary Clinton, he’d be worried that so many of the superdelegates from California haven’t publicly stated a preference, since she won the state so handily.

Of course, if Chuck was Hillary Clinton, he wouldn’t have time to join Keith, Chris Matthews and a host of others for tomorrow night’s coverage of the Indiana and North Carolina primaries.  LIVE!

4.  Keith breaks down the metrics of the Clinton campaign.  Does your vote matter? Mine doesn’t.  I’m from a caucus state that borders Illinois and that doesn’t elect female governors or congresspeoples and doesn’t have a large population, I’m a college-educated independent young person of a certain age, I’m an impressionable elite who also votes based on foreign policy issues (and who has lived abroad) and my caucus was early in the campaign.  But that’s ok, since there is literally no set of variables which would lead me to vote for Hillary Clinton in the first place, so clearly she won’t miss it.

Oddball: It’s Michael Palin’s birthday!   A guy can play music on a leaf, boomerangs… in… SPAAAAACE, and a vet learns that big dogs and chairs with casters don’t mix.

Best Persons: Method acting?   I’d like to commend this man on pre-planning his funeral, but PBR? And he was just cleaning it and it went off!  Honest!

3.  John McCain says that we will not fight wars for oil.  So ignore whatever it was he said last week.  And also anything Jon Kyl might have to say on the subject.  John McCain también puso en marcha un sitio web en español, a pesar de que apenas hace dos años, defendió la legislación que promueve el Inglés como idioma nacional. Si esta traducción una mierda, culpa de Google.  And yes, Matt Taibbi is the son of NBC’s Mike Taibbi, and his Wikipedia entry makes him sound like kind of a douche, at least to me anyway.

2.  Little Doocy finally returns from drinking with John McCain to make fun of the Democrats (isn’t he a clever one?) and Bill Kristol says some stuff.

1.  I kind of feel like I will die if I don’t see Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay.   I cried during the first one and also?  N. P.  MF-ing.  H.  And unicorns.  Keith is joined by Kal Penn, Kumar himself.  Kal is funny and articulate.  And if you’ve seen the first one, you also know he has a nice ass.  So.  There’s that.

Happy Cinco de Mayo everybody!

Tie:: This one, known with some affection around here as the “ice cream tie,”

Segue:I think they left the music out again.

Worst Person: The one-and-only(thank God…Ben Stein should forgive the expression) Coultergeist, for reasons some blogger with a funny name explains at some length.(Just kidding, KO, the “orange menace” loves to have you. Well, okay, not “have” you…basically just gape after a particularly apt sentence and mutter “I got the same 26 letters the sports guy got…why couldn’t I write that?!” We think you have powers. Anyway…)

5. Tonight represents an all-important delegate battle…in Guam. But then, as Richard Wolffe explains, it’s a caucus in Guam, and those “don’t count,”

5a. Another thing that doesn’t count for much, at least witheconomists is Hillary Clinton’s support for a summer repeal of the gas tax. Jonathan Alter says it would be bad for the infrastructure, and in the end, not save that much at the pump.

4.Why is a Clinton advisor going to right-wing smear sites? Eugene Robinson, with typical good humor, says “If you want to find some slime, you go to a swamp.” He then adds that, while all the sites and periodicals uncovered might trouble Clinton’s base, only one is really troubling in terms of its biases and/or lack of standards:
the apparently bogusly-named Accuracy in Media.

Oddball: On this day in 1903, Dr. Benjamin Spock was born. Dr. Spock’s books on baby and child care are only outsold by the Bible.

In other Oddball news, last summer’s duct-tape bandit accepted a plea agreement. I guess the homework didn’t come out like he expected.

Bushed!
Bush wants $70 Billion for a war he told us we were done with five years ago.

Reading First does not improve reading scores one bit. “From the same guys who brought you abstinence-education…” I can almost hear the movie announcer now.

3. Rachel Maddow joins Keith to talk about the moment where McCain ties the war in Iraq to oil.
They both wonder what his real strategy is, because, as they point out, in better words than this, we’re not winning.

2. Worst Persons:

Worse: Billo picks apart Al Franken’s taxes.

Worser: Ben Stein equates all science with Nazi science. Godwin’s Law? Anyone? Bueller? If Mr. Stein had been on a message board when he said that, invoking Hitler would have automatically cost him the argument. Anyone else miss Ben Stein, Happy Fun Conservative? me too. Although my friend’s sister saw him at the Baskin Robbins, and he looked really sick.

1.I love Richard Lewis. I’ve been a fan for a long time, and not only because he makes me look healthy and confident in contrast. But he is darned near impossible to recap…I’ll try.

Hates Bush, gets upset at the very sight of that flightsuit thing, to the point of nausea. Almost risked his marriage by screaming out “Mission accomplished” at the point of, let’s say “imperfect happiness” here(Was that the first or second use of “orgasm” on “Countdown”? Not counting fangirl blogs on Special Comment night, I should say.Or maybe not. See, I got confused and indiscreet.)

Well, that was mostly the way it was.

Tie: Red, with dots.
Segue: None, as there were no Best Persons.
Worst Person: BillO (again, jeez!), for gloating about landing an interview with Sen. Clinton.

Joe Andrew of Indiana, superdelegate and former National Chairman of the DNC, has switched his vote from Clinton to Obama. Thus far, the Clinton campaign’s response has been to question his Indiana roots. Well, that’ll learn us. This now brings the superdelegate count as of today to Obama 249, Clinton 272. And, summoned by campaign mathematics, Chuck Todd joins to discuss the delegate game. (Anybody else think poor Mr. Todd probably repeats delegate counts in his sleep?)

The issue of electability is brought up once again as polls try to predict which Democratic candidate is more electable come November. Cue another portion of Meredith Vieira’s interview with the Obamas.

Bushed! Telecom executives would very much like to get out of the over forty civil suits brought against them for breaking eavesdropping rules, the anti-terrorist watchlist is now so big that the names of some federal marshalls whose job it is to find terrorists are now too similar to some names on the watchlist - possibly because Nelson Mandela and most of the ANC are still on the list from the 1970s, and Blackwater just can’t seem to find investors. I cannot imagine why.

In a continuation of the Batshit McCrazy, John Hagee is now attacking Harry Potter as well. Not to mention the lack of the Ten Commandments posted in schools. (Two minor quibbles here. First, the Harry Potter/Ten Commandments diatribe is from November, and, while that doesn’t make it any less nutbally or bad for McCain, I don’t like that the news shows are treating this as if it happened this week. Second, Southern Decadence is a weekend-long gay pride festival that’s been around in one form or another since 1972, not just a parade.)  We then cut back to Vieira’s interview with the Obamas, and the kerfluffle surrounding Rev. Jeremiah Wright.

Today is the fifth anniversary of Bush’s declaration of “Mission Accomplished.” Five. Years. Since then, the Bush Administration has been trying to distance itself from the “Mission Accomplished” banner. Dana Perino yet again shows off her intellectual prowess by repeating some of the worst propaganda I’ve ever heard (and by worst, I mean “stupidest”), that the banner should have been more specific. (Good luck trying to fit “Mission Accomplished for These Sailors Who are on This Ship on Their Mission” on a banner, Ms. Perino.) Rachel Maddow joins to discuss the utter stupidity of the Bush Administration, McCain’s flip-flopping (you know, again), the outrage of the American people, and what we can expect a year from now, three months into the next President’s term.

That’s it for me, everybody. Happy May Day, and I’ll see you next week.

Telegraph.co.uk has a feature this week enumerating those they consider “the 50 most influential political pundits in America.” Today’s installment brings us KO at lucky number 13:

Host of MSNBC’s Countdown, Olbermann,a former sports commentator, is one of the rising stars of politics on television and is at the centre of his cable channel’s attempt to become the edgy, liberal choice for those in their 20s and 30s.

Supportive of Barack Obama, Olbermann’s on-air eviscerations of Hillary Clinton’s campaign have been only slightly milder than his contemptuous monologues about President George W. Bush. Seen as a successor to his MSNBC rival Chris Matthews, he has conducted a vocal feud with the conservative Bill O’Reilly of Fox News. A disciplined and smooth performer.

Over on TVNewser, Gail Shister talks to Aaron Brown (who’s returning to television July 1 on PBS):

Keith Olbermann and Bill O’Reilly “are both larger-than-life figures,” he says, but Olbermann is “smarter, funnier, better read and eminently more talented.”

At HuffPo, Keith is also getting some good words from Roger Mudd:

Olbermann is outrageously good. He’s funny and I’m learning stuff on there that I’m not hearing. A lot of that political patois that I pick up from him and Matthews, and that seems to be an added contribution. I don’t watch FOX. I’ve tried it several times and CNN is okay, but I think they have too many people and too many graphics. It’s not a serene network.

And finally, ERT reader Katie sent a link to today’s “Beyond the Hedge” strip. See it in its full, layout-busting glory after the jump!
(more…)

Tie: Purple
Music: The Partridge Family - “Come on Get Happy” [viva Ecuador!]
Worst Person: Bill-O, again, who said we didn’t invade Iraq. Even though the President has said “invade” a whole bunch, as has Bill himself.

The nation needs a president with “testicular fortitude”? Oy, and said by a Clinton supporter! You guys, come the f**k on. Well. It lets Keith use the word “gonadial,” so I guess it’s not all bad.

This morning Clinton rode along with a South Bend metal worker on his morning commute. In his boss’s pickup, mind you, which happened to require a stop at the gas station on the way.

Gas Tax proposal roundup: McCain will waive the tax over the summer. Clinton will do the same, but add a windfall tax on corporations to cover the stuff the gas tax normally covers (that is, funding to help maintain our national infrastructure, and providing jobs for construction workers employed to do same). Obama will not waive the tax at all, but would like to interest you instead in his comprehensive energy policy.

Floridians protested outside the DNC today. Ok, so — Florida and Michigan said “Hey, we’re gonna’ move our primaries up!” and the DNC said, “K, but if you do, we’re going to nullify your delegates,” then Florida and Michigan were all “Whatever, we’re doing it anyway.” Yes, of course everyone’s vote should count. But that wouldn’t be an issue if the individual Democratic brass in these states had acted in the best interests of their constituents from the start and not conceded to have their delegates not count in the first place.

Talking with Meredith Viera for a Today Show interview, Michelle Obama responded to a question about Reverend Wright by saying “You know what I think, Meredith? We’ve got to move forward.” Barack and Michelle also held a little town hall meeting (in a park!) where they talked about their student loan debts, Michelle trying to keep Barack out of politics, etc. as part of a new push to make Obama seem more … average? He should have Clinton’s pa teach him to shoot! Keith and Gene are baffled as to why general consensus isn’t that the smartest person in the room would totally be the person you want running the country.

Oddball: Yesterday was Gary Cohen’s birthday! I love that guy. ** A guy in one part of India pulled an empty train with his ponytail. A guy in another part of India can lift 22lbs of weight with only his mighty mighty ’stache. ** Greg Allgood came up with a way to change filthy water into pure, potable water. It could save a ton of lives and do a lot of good, and Allgood’s obviously a very smart man, who … totally didn’t look down during his demonstration, and definitely took a big swig of the bilge-swamp-in-a-dixie-cup he’d brought on set with him. Gyeah.

Wal-Mart, snatching “evil from the jaws of goodness,” hasn’t actually made good on making sure injured employee Deborah Shank gets her money back. Wal-Mart contacted MSNBC, saying that they fully intend on getting the money back in the Shank family’s hands just as soon as possible. Jim Shank joins Keith, and says he’s being patient, but it has to be resolved.

Do y’all get that drug commercial for AcipHex? It totally sounds like “Ass Effects,” doesn’t it?

Aaaaaand it’s Idol time, because Paula Abdul is again … kind of sad. It’s worth noting that Keith’s “startled horse” impression is amusing. I seriously love that Maria Milito has brought that tiara with her to every appearance since she was first presented with it. <3

That’s it for me tonight. See you right back here for the next Countdown.

Tie: It’s light blue, with a dark geometric pattern.
Music: Paul Anka - “(You’re) Having My Baby”
Worst Person: Bill-O, bringing you up-to-the-minute news on the day’s “Miley Cyrus’ shady photos” news.

Following Reverend Wright’s recent press tour, today Barack Obama denounced him, in a move that can either been seen as his campaign recognizing the weight the Reverend has proved oooor them going “You know what, dammit, we stood by you. But now? Forget it.” Richard Wolffe made note especially of Obama’s emotion today.

Barack also played a scrimmage with the UNC Tarheels.

The Governor of North Carolina, a superdelegate, has endorsed Hillary Clinton, saying that she “makes Rocky Balboa look like a pansy.” Oh well; there goes the pansy vote.

Keith’s guest waves it away, saying how it’s not universally accepted as a homophobic remark, and instead just means “weakness.” Yes. It does. It’s suggesting the “pansy” in question is “weak” because they’re gay. Just because the term deemed offensive doesn’t offend you doesn’t mean you can’t rationally say “yeah, he could have said that better.”

Why haven’t Elizabeth or John Edwards, or Al Gore made an endorsement yet? E.J. Dionne thinks John may be staying out of it until Obama and Clinton fully destroy each other, so he may then step back in as the only electable Democratic candidate left.

Oddball: It’s the twenty fifth anniversary of the Lee Elia rant! Celebrate a day late tomorrow by reciting it out loud in your place of work!!* — Ooh, and FIRE HOCKEY.

Associated Press headline today: “Bush rhetoric on energy strays from the facts” — “So polite, the AP” Keith says. Bush’s presser today was even more uncomfortable to watch than any given other statement by the man. And that’s saying something.

A second American aircraft carrier found its way to the Persian Gulf today, and the government is drawing up plans to the tune of “knock it off, or else” to deal with Iran.

Finally tonight — the lighter side of an unending, soul-murdering election year. Fox and Friends, looking to compare the Democratic campaign to the Lincoln/Douglas debates. They showed a graphic of Abe Lincoln and Frederick Douglass. Who was, as Keith correctly notes, kinda’ on the same side as Ol’ Abe. And popphoto.com aged the current candidates to show what their first term would do to them, in terms of general wrinklitude and/or liver spottiness. And aww, the giant … Coachella-based inflated Pink Floyd Obama supporting pig balloon has floated away! Oh hey, but then it was found. In a number of pieces. Gyeah.

Quick last note: I heard that Keith was going to be on tonight’s Law & Order: SVU. I read a few minutes ago that Joe Scarborough was going to be on, so — I’m not sure what’s really going down in terms of who, but — some MSNBC personality will be on tonight’s ep of L&O:SVU, so if you’re inclined … check your local listings. Yyyyyep, it was The Scar.

That’s it for us tonight. I’ll be back with you for Wednesday’s Countdown.

*Please don’t actually do that.